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Old April 19th, 2004, 01:20 PM   #1
Liquid Swords
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Default Take My Wife, Please...

  • The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, ''What's on the TV?'' I said, ''Dust!''
  • In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
  • My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four state troopers and a dog.
  • What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks.
  • A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said ''I haven't eaten anything in four days.'' She looked at him and said, ''God, I wish I had your willpower.''
  • Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.
  • A man inserted an ad in the classified: ''Wife wanted.'' Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: ''You can have mine.''
  • The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
  • First guy (proudly): ''My wife's an angel!'' Second guy: ''You're lucky, mine's still alive.''
  • How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free.
  • Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
  • If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
  • Then there was a man who said, ''I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late.''
  • A little boy asked his father, ''Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'' And the father replied, ''I don't know son, I'm still paying.''
  • A bumper sticker read: ''I lost 250 pounds in one day, I divorced her.''
  • Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
:box :drinktoge
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Old April 19th, 2004, 01:23 PM   #2
Preds
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Default Re: Take My Wife, Please...

Hehe, your not bitter or anything are ya? Married yes , no, formerlly?

Not sure I'd want my wife to read this post .

Funny stuff!
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Old April 19th, 2004, 04:00 PM   #3
The Immortal Ramirez
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Holly Shit Re: Take My Wife, Please...

ouch...

Preds, good replies. My sentiments.

You been compiling those for a while or what?
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Old April 19th, 2004, 07:44 PM   #4
Liquid Swords
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Default Re: Take My Wife, Please...

Never married, but I know some of you are so I thought I'd share a little laugh with ya. But I've had those thoughts cross my mind with a couple of the girls I've dated.
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