Ok, things are slowing down, so I'll share my favorite lame joke..although it is baseball...tried to make it a football joke, but wouldn't work....here goes:
A man walks into the bar with his dog. The tarbender says, "Hey buddy, you can't bring that dog in here.". The guy tells him, "But this is my best friend in the world, AND he can talk.".
The tarbender says "Listen buddy, if that dog can talk, not only will I buy you a drink, but I'll buy the dog one too.".
So the guy looks at his dog and says, "OK Pal, let's show this guy. What does Sandpaper feel like?".
Pal says "Rrrufff".
"Good boy. OK Pal, what covers a house?".
Pal says "Rrrrrrrrroof!". "
"Great job Pal. OK, now who was the greatest ballplayer ever?".
Pal yelps "Rrrruth!".
The tarbender has seen and heard enough and kicks both Guy and Pal out on their ears. As they are walking away, Pal looks up at Guy and says: