Week 10 Wrap-ups

[The Immortal Ramirez]

The Bye Weeks are NO MORE!!!! Those accursed days that give you hours of complaining and angst will not haunt your days and nights for another year.

Now, back to the fun.

We’ll start this week with the Game of the WEEK: Royal Hawaiian Opihi (6-3) locking horns (yes, I know Opihi are mollusks) with the Wonder Mutts (7-2). Opihi had solid weeks from several players. Green was limited in TDs, but scored in the 20s. Emmitt Smith still defies all logic and keeps scoring as well. A-train was stunningly poor against a weak Titan DT. Most weeks, they stink, then out of no where, they play really well… More surprisingly, Vinatieri outscored all but two players on the Opihi team. Now that’s embarrassing. Mutts, on the other hand, were very pleased with Favre’s Sunday performance. Not a ton of yards, but four TDs really help. Chris Brown was in for a long day versus Chicago and did very poorly. Dominic Davis had an awesome week (too bad for the injury…a lot of owners were hoping he’d put up these numbers every week). Too bad Dillon was on the bench, but before the game started, I would have started the same players. However, to the ire of the Opihi, Dallas could not do anything to stop Owens who went ballistic for 35.25 points (3 TDs). The 13 points by Philly DT wasn’t needed in this one.

Prediction: Wow! This ought to be a high scoring game, however, I fear Denver’s bye week is going to hurt Opihi more and Mutts line-up looks pretty impressive. Mutts in a shoot-out

** Actual: Royal Hawaiian Opihi 128.85 to Wonder Mutts 144.45 (hey I was actually right!)

Next up is the opposite end of the spectrum (oops, did I just say that) where Philadelphia Freedom (3-6) square off against Jersey Toxic Waste (3-6) in the battle of the East Coast: Freedom had better start writing me checks to pick the other teams each week. There’s something about that. Garrard off the bench to put up 27.55 points. Curtis Martin also returned to for, going over 100 yards and scoring two more times. McAllister also put up buck – 25 and a TD. All three WR pulled in double digits with Jimmy Smith double-dipping with Garrard to get into the 20s. Waste had a lot of ground to make up on MNF. Though McNabb had a great game, it wasn’t enough (38.05 wasn’t 70!) Waste were also surprised at Edge’s no TDs (but if Manning is tossing 5 TDs and the DT gets two as well, that limits the opportunities). Suggs just flat out stunk, 38 yards and a fumble. Muhammad on the other hand is the hot WR de-jour…3 TDs and 123 yards is nice for a 2^nd to 3^rd tier WR. But, when you’re playing from behind it’s always possible. Wayne was low on yards, but pulled in a TD.

Prediction: Until Freedom get a QB, I can’t pull them in. Waste roster is better than their schedule. Waste in this one

** Actual: Freedom 159.55 to Waste 131.20 (Freedom, where’s my money for picking the other team!?!)

Now we have the Parkwood Predators (6-3) trying to hold on to the lead in the Eastern Division while taking on the Brain Dead Squirrel Chasers (3-6): The Predators were thankful for that last TD to Horn, pushing Brooks up into acceptable QB scoring range. Barlow finally woke up and scored a couple of TDs, though his yards were sad. Pittman had his week in the spot light last week, and failed to reach 100 yards or the end zone. Johnson and Ward both subperformed, but at least Walker got into the end zone. Wiggins had a huge game. Chasers has no idea what to do with Hasselbeck. One of the premier QB prospects that was to ‘come into his own’ this year has been a major disappointment. And 172 yards, no TD against Rams quesitonable DT is pretty bad. But watch, he may be inconsistent and play well next week. Faulk had a lot of yards, but is losing time to Jackson (I see this trend continuing). All three WR’s were held in single digits, as were K & DT. Witten, however, has been a case to behold over the last four weeks. This weeks 29.80 is getting up there for TE’s.

Prediction: The question is, how much did Opihi pay the Chasers to win this game??? Another week without Moss may cost the Chasers the win (with Preds w/o LT2 it’s a closer game). But, depth isn’t on Chasers side. Unless this week in NFL is really screwy, Predators should cling to lead in the East with a victory.

** Actual: Predators 134.7 to Squirrel Chasers 99.85 (Preds paying off the Mutts for keeping the Opihi down!)

The Indiana Undead (5-4) travel to Happy Valley and meet the Nittany Dodgers (3-6) on the Gridiron: Undead must have had jet lag or something. Harrington was on a streak, but can’t put together a win to save his life these days. Injuries have hurt the team, but still. The Bus, however, stepped in for the second week to have a monster game against the Browns. Rudi Johnson is still trying to win a big contract next year – whether with Bengals or not, putting up 100 yards and a score. I have no idea how Harrison got 22 total yards and no TDs. Amazing. Graham and Chad Johnson were also surprisingly poor. Dodgers were defending their home field and kicked it up a notch. Delhomme came back to put up 31 points. Barber still seems to score and pull in huge numbers (hint to anyone playing Giants, stop Barber and you stop the Giants). Staley’s zero, didn’t hut Dodgers this week. Burleson had a huge game against GB. Pittsburgh (as I commented in reply to my predictions) was good for 23 points.

Prediction: Both teams are playing new QBs this week (due to bye and injury). Dodgers are becoming instants Pittsburgh Steelers fans. I actually am calling this my upset of the week. Dodgers in a shocker!

** Actual: Undead 87 to Dodgers 145.7 – called the upset! Yeah me!

Runner up for Game of the Week…so we’ll call it, hmmm BCS Bowl Yet to Be Named, between Liquid Swords (6-3) and Urza’s Ragers (6-3): The Swords came to play. Culpepper was not going to be help in check any more. He was unable to get the Vikings a win, but helped the Swords put up a W. Ahman had a ton of yards, but needs to find the end Zone more this season (oh, and stay healthy). McGahee was a stunning dud. The NE run D has been poor at best, but to hold him to 37 yards? Joe Horn and Eddie Kennison pulled in games in the 20’s. Boldin’s just not back to form yet and I don’t see him getting there until next season. Dilger, Brown and NE DT (previously mentioned) all pulled in double digits as well (with 20 by NE). Ragers are wondering which Michael Vick will step on to the field. Unlike Culpepper who is putting up monster games, but not always winning in NFL, Vick wins in the NFL and kills his fantasy owners. Only one TD saved him from a lousy game. Jamal Lewis had a bad week (even with 30 carries). Taylor faired a lot better and cranked out some yards, but lost the TD. Rest of the team really fell short in an important game. Side note: how does Roy Williams, Chris Cooley & David Akers all score 7.4 points??

Prediction: Back to QB. Culpepper will NOT have three bad games in a row (and Brees is on a bye). In addition, Urza’s needs a 2^nd RB of some-sort of quality. I gotta say Swords walk off with the title (yet to be named).

** Actual: Swords 172.9 to Ragers 95.90 (oooo, right again)


Finally, the Soap Box Derby Cars (2-7) play simply for pride and draft pick order against the Bay Area Bloodsucking Insects (4-5): Manning, as I explained in the predictions, is a machine (I know, my opponent had him this week in CDL). No splitting the MVP this year with ANYONE!! Hoover was just bad. Definitely should have been better. MNF was a good come back game for Westbrook. He was still splitting time last week (and a little this week), but 23.55 is getting some work done. Jackson fell back to Earth, but what do you expect from the inconsistent Seattle passing game. Crumpler was the only beneficiary to Vick this week. Insects received a blah day from Warner (well, tough to throw when your on you butt – unless you’re last name is Favre). Alexander is the only consistent player on Seattle team (and he still fluctuates). Stokley was lost for last two weeks, but really benefited from Manning this week with 132 yards and two TDs. Coles, Gaffney & Eric Johnson were all let downs.

Prediction: Man, if the Insects had the Derby Cars QB, they could make a run at the title, but with whom they have…hmmm. On the other hand, if Cars had Insects RBs the same could be said about a run into the playoffs. However, since neither is set that way, I simply commented to take up space and drive everyone batty waiting for my predictions…ain’t I a stinker. Insects in this one..

** Actual: Derby Cars 127.65 to Bloodsucking Insects 107.3 (rats, wrong again)

That’s all I know, thought 4-2 seems to be all the better I can do. My brain is tired and I gotta stop staying up late to watch these games. So, until next week this is Tank D’Season, comb the waiver wire and continue your threats and beggings for me not to choose you to win!